Skinny Dippers – a rural retreat for discerning naturists

Rating: 5 out of 5.

BEST FOR: Wine-Foodie-Naturist Snobs, Yoga-Wellness Guru, Naked Sunsetter Folks, Casual Skinny Dipper, Newbie Naturists

Skinny Dippers is a truly exceptional retreat for – as they say – the discerning naturist. The first clue that you’ve stumbled into something special is when you try to book, only to find that most of the twelve rooms have already been reserved since the previous summer, as repeat guests are the lifeblood of this little hamlet nestled in the Mallorcan farmland. The place is run by Grant and Jordi, a gregarious couple who have made food and hospitality their livelihood. Breakfast is included in the room tariff, while lunch and dinner are available most days for an extra charge. Dinners are clothing optional, and always of a gourmet quality. You are only a short drive from the famous naturist beach, Es Trenc, and there are several villages in the region if you choose to venture out for dinner or other touristy endeavors. Best of all, we’ve met some of the most interesting people here over the meal table, including couples from Europe, America, Israel, and lots of Brits. Great conversation is guaranteed!

WHAT’S THE BEST WAY TO GET THERE? Well, while officially part of Spain, Mallorca is an island, which requires a bit more planning than jumping in the car. There are loads of cheap flights from the European mainland, though we’ve twice taken the car ferry for an overnight crossing, with a small cabin on board. We’ve enjoyed alternating lazy days by the pool with exploring the island, and a car is absolutely necessary should you wish to trace our steps for long, naked early morning walks along the shoreline path that stretches for miles. (Read about our naked walks!) We’ve known people to take a 40-minute taxi ride from the airport and borrow bicycles upon arrival at the inn, but I think we’d grow a bit restless with that after a few days.

WHAT’S THE FAMILY VIBE? We’ve never seen children at Skinny Dippers, as it’s mainly a couples place, though our young-adult daughter did join us there one year for several days and fit right in. I don’t know if they have an adults only policy, but if so, it has nothing to do with the decorum expectations on the property. Nightlife here consists of a little too much wine and laughter at the communal dinner table, noting that most guests are of the “empty-nester” variety.

HOW ARE THE ACCOMMODATIONS? Rooms vary in size and amenities, but most have a small fridge and access to a full service kitchen should you wish to ramp up the self-catering thing and save yourself some money. There’s no air-conditioning, but opening the windows in the evening has typically been absolutely comfortable, even in the dead of summer. The grounds are beautifully landscaped, the pool is huge, and there’s lots of space to find a quiet corner to yourself should you so desire. (There is also a second complex, somewhat more modest, with several apartments, though we’ve never stayed there.) Be sure to book a massage during your stay. Heaven!

ANYTHING ELSE WE SHOULD KNOW? By the second visit, you will come to know some of the regulars who return year after year and stay for two or three weeks. Both Grant and Jordi have a keen memory, seemingly able to remember where they sent you for dinner or on an excursion two years ago. This is the kind of place that makes you want to stop traveling the rest of the world simply so you don’t lose your place in the annual queue. Will be interesting to see how they weather all the disruptions of both COVID and Brexit.

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