Post updated: July 2022 - Actually... not a revision, but I thought it would be good to re-publish this post as I suspect I will have something of a new audience as we are re-entering the blogosphere after a prolonged absence. If there is an update, it's that our grown children have become increasingly willing and interested in joining us on nakation. That's about the most one could hope for. :)
My blog is just over ten years old now, and after an incredibly busy year with great periods of sparsity for managing new posts with fresh topics, I’ve exploited a bit of down-time in recent weeks to catch up. In doing so, it occurs to me that people rarely click back beyond a page or two of a blog, if that. In the blogosphere, everything is more or less in present tense, until it simply ceases to exist altogether.
And thus, it occurs to me that my sudden influx of new readers – resulting simply from an increasing presence amidst all things naturist on the internet – have little or no idea who we are, how we found our way into naturism, and why we would seek ways to promote such a thing.
Seems our story is unusual, as it was my wife who made the first foray into social nudity, and well before she was my wife, or even an acquaintance. Though we attended the same university in California, we had not yet met when she was enrolled in a Human Sexuality course that included an action research project. Most students stayed pretty closely on script, visiting a home for women, or a Planned Parenthood clinic. But my (future-tense) wife and a friend decided to venture out to a famous nude beach near Santa Cruz to see what all the fuss was about. This was the early 80s, mind you, when the last wafts of free love were still blowing south from the Haight-Ashbury. They weren’t out looking for that, or anything else in particular. They simply thought it would make for an interesting term paper.
We had been dating for some time when she – future tense wife – first told me this story, which immediately caught my attention given my proclivity for home nudity as a kid growing up in a very conservative household. My father would frequently rant about the newspaper stories that gave the play-by-play about a nearby nudist watering hole, and I think he was genuinely giddy when the police finally raided the place and sent all the hippies away to find their clothes.
Suffice it to say, I was nude-curious, but it would actually be another three years until I would work up the courage to bare all, with all the typical concerns about male arousal, wandering eyes, and comparison shopping! We were married by then, and it was immediately evident my wife had – unknowingly at the time – married an obsessive naturist. Neither of us had the body types that played well in the swim-suit “competitions”, nor were either of us fashion conscious enough to even join in that game. But naked on the beach became an immediate and persuasive common denominator that would come to define many other values in our relationship, beginning with this unusual thing that we shared with each other, to the way we’d eventually raise our children in regard to body acceptance and self-esteem.
It is worth noting that at this point of our lives, children arrived early, and money was tight! And beaches in Northern California were always a crap-shoot even at the height of summer, as it might be 90°F five miles inland, but round the bend near the ocean, and suddenly you’re shrouded in fog! We found a new-agey hot-spring establishment (Harbin Hot Springs) that was close enough for an occasional Friday night date, and if we could save up enough for a real splurge, we’d visit a brand new little nine-room inn called Desert Shadows resort in Palm Springs, California. I remember fretting over our first visit, trying desperately to read the subtext on a primitive 1993 website (remember those?) as to where you could and could not be naked, and is there an implicit expectation that we will be doing more there than lying naked by the pool? Over time, we watched the place grow up, and even took the kids a time or two, and it was… “OK.” Except for the part when they would ask, “Where are the other kids, mom? Thought you said there would be kids here.”
We also checked out a couple traditional nudist clubs in the Bay Area, then later, on the east coast, far enough inland to be warm, and remote enough to be naked. But almost without fail, not only were we the token familial unit on the grounds that day, but we would be saddled with the sales pitch of “You can come three times, then you need to become members.” Membership might have involved a commitment to helping with spring cleaning, or to serve chili at the cook-out dinner, but it almost always required a hefty annual membership fee that, at that time, was roughly equivalent to two months of our food budget. Perhaps a worthy investment for some, but beyond our means as a young family, especially when we knew that life with children – at least for us – did not mean every weekend at the nudist club, particularly since we couldn’t find one where our kids didn’t feel like Thing One, Two, and Three.
In the meantime, I had been corresponding with a guy named Don (Cadonick, I think was his on-line forum name) on a server called Compuserve. Even in its time, it was basic technology, and one had the sense that when you hit send, a pigeon carried the message from the back of your computer to that of the receiver several states away. Slow, cumbersome, and awkward were the defining traits of that platform, but it was about the only place I could find an internet message board about social nudity, or… naturism.
This guy Don was married to a French woman. He read my post about my frustrations in searching for a place where we could practice naturism as a family. A place where we would all feel safe, where the amenities would be a bit nicer than a 1950s church camp, and where the children would feel like they’re part of a real community with families like ours, doing things that families do! After bantering back and forth on the topic over several posts, he finally gave me the clear directive that what I was looking for most certainly did exist, but I was looking on the wrong continent. He pointed me to a place called La Jenny, west of Bordeaux on the south Atlantic coast of France, suggesting my efforts were futile until I found a way to get there and see it for myself.
Remember, we were long on children, and short on cash! So it took several years until my wife and I could make our first reconnaissance trip to naturist France. We checked out St. Tropez, (Yeah, I guess!) and the famous, or infamous Cap d’Agde (Oh! Well… That’s something!), then finally made our way to Village Naturiste La Jenny, where Don’s words immediately rang true. Naked or clothed, this was a beautiful holiday center for families from all over Europe where everything happened in (at least) four languages, and as weather permitted, most things required no clothing. Nirvana!
Our children were near adolescence before we could cobble together enough frequent flyer miles and loose change to get a family of five to France, but from then on, we somehow found a way to make the trek every other year, until things got a bit better yet and we could go every year. Strangely, we never morphed into one of those “naked at home” families you read about in naturist magazines. For our kids, naturism was a vacation in Europe kind of thing, and the day we would get home, they would essentially revert to traditional American household modesty values. That was OK with us. In the last place, nudity was simply not a thing – one way or the other.
Around 2004 I put together a website about our family naturist travels, and started getting more involved in various message boards that far exceeded the technology that had been offered by Compuserve. I lost track of my friend Don and never had a chance to tell him that we had made it to France, and that he was right! In the meantime, the activist part of me said this ethos must exist in America – we just need to help other naturist families find one another with all these newfangled internet tools. To that end, I started a new website called the Naturist Family Network, which I managed in my spare time for perhaps a year or two, mainly trying to create an online community where “real naturist families” could find one another. Frustrated with the outcome, I eventually handed that off, and I’m not sure… it may still be hanging around the web someplace.
As such things do happen, our children grew up, our discretionary income increased, and our discretion to use it on ourselves changed quite dramatically. One advantage of starting a family young is being (relatively) young when they leave home and graduate from college. As we both have an affinity for seeing as much of the world as possible, the value-added component of finding naturist places became nothing short of an obsession for me. The upside is that looking for a naturist place in Brazil, Thailand, or South Africa most definitely pulls you off the beaten path to where the real people live, and we will long cherish the conversations we’ve had with other naked travelers we’ve met along the way. But at the same time, we’ve stumbled into the reciprocal downside – that outside of a few European countries where nudity is a normal part of the social fabric, (Thinking Germany, France, Spain, and Croatia to name the biggies!) social nudity is at least as complicated and quirky everywhere else as it was in California thirty years ago. In some places, quite a lot more so.
But alas, we continue to meander, seeking out unique travel experiences – naturist when possible, but with a good bit of exploring along the way – while documenting our travels in hopes of accomplishing two things. First, that people will come to think of naturist travel the same way they think about back-packing or ski vacations. “It may or may not be right for me, but it seems perfectly normal that other people would want to do that.” And secondly, an effort to simply normalize social nudity itself, until again people might say… that’s not a thing! In the same way that hiking or skiing is not a thing. At least, not a weird thing.
There is an interesting bi-product/conundrum of keeping this blog. Now married well over thirty years, we can earnestly say that travel and naturism are most certainly defining characteristics of our life together. And because naturism is what it is, that’s been somewhat removed from the rest of our hustle-and-bustle lives. Many of our friends and colleagues know about our nakations; many others simply know we like to travel. The fact that blogging makes the private part of our life “anonymously public” is something of an oxymoron. We simply hope that in doing so, we might encourage a few others to take the leap, and join us in the crusade for making naturist travel and social nudity more mainstream and less circumspect. Like… it’s not a thing.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I just posted the long version of this story on MEDIUM. It gets a bit more into the weeds as related to nudity, adolescence, and coming to terms with one's own physicality. Hope you'll click through and give it a read.
Thank you for sharing your interesting history into nudism as a couple first meeting and then together and as family and now enriched by your experiences as empty nesters. There is so much hear that we all can identify with for sure.
Hey Jan & Gary. Great to hear from you! I’m amazed at how many people have stories similar to our, but societal pressure causes them to be reticent to share those stories. We’re trying to get over that hurdle ourselves.
Thanks for following the blog. 🙂
Dear Dan – Your story about your father reminds me of one relating to my Dad. My Dad was not anti-nudist or anti-nudity. In fact, he had a very relaxed attitude about nudity and might have become a nudist himself if my Mom hadn’t been such a prude. But Dad was a jokester and a prodigious purveyor of “dad jokes” before that term was even invented. Here is one of his favorites.
What is the theme song of the nudist colony?
(Sings) I’ll be seeing you in all the old familiar places.
P.S. For those of you under the age of 50, “nudist colony” was a commonly used term back in the day for what we now call nudist resorts. Some people consider “nudist colony” to be a derogatory term today, but it wasn’t back then.
Ironic really. At first, North America was a cohort of colonies, then they became states and only nudists had colonies. Now, states want to secede and become… soveignties? Maybe that’s what comes next – naturist sovereignties! (In fact, I think some have already made that leap.
Hahahaha…. That’s awesome! My dad was also a stunning human being, but alas, we are all products of the environment and value system in which we were raised. Such is the circle of life.
I have no idea how fate took me to this post on your blog just so that I could say that I’m the ‘black sheep’ that goes against the tide to read a blog post that is months old!
Its interesting to be reminded of those earlier online nudist places on Cumpuserve etc and before the internet arrived as we know it via bulletin boards where it seemed to really be snailmail rather than carrier pigeons that helped us share our naked experiences. Oh, the nostalgia of the schreeching that imitated a mind-bending cross between the calls of howler monkeys, snakes and magpies as dial-up connected………….perhaps not!
Thanks NudeNik! I remember that like it was yesterday. And back then, rec.nude on compuserve was about the only place to get up to date information. It turned out to be a real game changer for us – despite the long wait for downloading one line if pixels at a time. LOL