Meet Addie Foster!
Actually, if you’re an avid follower of the Meandering Naturist, you’ve already met Addie, first in a rather poignant post about her first experience with social nudity, then somewhat vicariously as the subject I wrote for a piece about navigating the German spa culture.
We’ve known Addie for quite a long time, and by now, she’s become something of a surrogate daughter to us, though I first came to know her through professional endeavors where she once inquired about my obsession with European travel, and I ended up telling her about our quest to find a place where our kids – also about her age – would find a sense of normalcy in a naturist place. She and my daughter have since become fast friends as well.
This is her latest installment. I’m hoping she’ll become a regular on my blog as she has most definitely embraced the naturist ideal, and I think she has quite a lot to say about helping us seasoned type naturists understand what’s in the cards for the future of naturism here and abroad. Thanks for that, Addie!
[Photos are either from our personal archives, or a few additional pics from clothesfree.com]
– Dan Carlson, blogger
Dating for Naturists: Can I fit “Naturism” into my Tinder Profile Description?
“Happy Hour. 🍷 Travel. ✈️ Likes Getting Naked.🌴”
. . .[backspace, backspace, backspace, backspace].
“What’s the coolest place you’ve traveled? Mine is an all-naked island near Corsica!”
. . .[delete, delete, delete].
Writing a Tinder, or Bumble, or Hinge, or Coffee Meets Bagel profile as a 26-year-old heterosexual woman is difficult for numerous reasons. But as a hopeful long-term naturist? Yikes. Any mention of “naked,” and you’re sure to get a series of creepy messages. “You like taking off your clothes? Me too. Wanna try tonight?” And in one sentence you’ve moved from the idea that “I like sitting with my friends on nude beaches” to “Let’s have sex before we even know each other’s last names!”
This confusion of sexually available/easy and naturist is something that I’m constantly trying to figure out. I’ve settled on decidedly not including naturism in my dating profiles, but if I’m on the road to find a potential life-mate, the candidate would at the very least have to look interested at the mention of a naturist beach in the south of France or a nude spa in Germany. You would think that’s a given—what dude in the 21st century wouldn’t be interested in going to a swim up bar in a naked spa in Germany with his girlfriend? Unfortunately. . . a lot!
But that also might be a bit of a relief. Because when you match with 5 or 10 or 20 people a day, that’s a lot of potential life mates. And many of them actually might be nice dudes. But if on the second date, they give you a look of confusion/apprehension/fear/disgust at the very mention of naturism, you get to cross them off the list, and narrow it down to 19 or 9 or 4. Whew-thank God-on to the next one!
I don’t mean to make this sound dismal or difficult (though dating is inherently difficult, naturist or not). In fact, there’s nothing more intriguing than watching a person’s eyes light up as they state casually, “Wow. Never tried it, but that seems kind of awesome.” And that makes the whole endeavor worth it-the thought that there ARE other people out there who are capable of understanding, and actually prove to be more interested in you as a human after the mention of naturism (not only as a potential sex-mate, but as a human being with real interests and thoughts!)
Finding a future life mate is not easy; my naturist and non-naturist friends share in that sentiment. But I suspect that in the end, my interest in naturism will become an important point of departure for a new relationship filled with many things that I actually enjoy doing (*hint: it’s not sitting in the Ramada Inn swimming pool in New Jersey).
Does “naturist” belong in the average Tinder profile? Not unless you’re looking for a reason to attract creepy comments. But should it come up in the first or second date? Yeah, probably! Because unless you’re looking to spend the rest of your days packed like a sardine on the Jersey shore, wondering if your bikini is cute or sexy or modest enough, it’s worth mentioning, so that you simply can know if Joe is the kind of guy with whom you should “not pass go.” However, if Joe ends up hiking with you in the nude to a hidden gem of a beach off the coast of Thailand, then it was probably worth having those less than ideal conversations with Tom, Richard, and Kirk! Happy Tindering!
Im a naturist or nudist and I would love to find a new wife that the as me.
I love being naked all the time.
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Good luck. My wife and I met through an online personal ad (not really a dating app) and I was the one who wrote the ad. I decided that I would mention naturism right at the start, thinking that if it discouraged some responses, those weren’t going to succeed anyway, once the people found out. My wife says she thought “This should be interesting!” but I can see how mentioning nudity might bring a different result for a woman.
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I’m a guy who would like to find a husband who is at least as interested in nudism as I am.
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Hmmm… you have pictures showing hands touching body parts with romantic intent. The purity police will be after you.
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“The confusion of sexually available/easy and naturist is something I’m constantly trying to figure out.”
Not that hard, but I think you intuitively know. Combination of guys with base instincts and little sense, with a Hollywood/Madison Ave culture that links nudity and sex. Otherwise, simple nudism doesn’t sell nearly the clothes or movies. And with the mindset of nude=sex, simpletons will presume that everyone else thinks the same.
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Quite a few people are raised on this belief from day one. Changing it is as likely to happen as changing their religion. OTOH, conservative, orthodox, organized religion does not control our lives as much as it once did.
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Just for the record, I think Addie, the author, has it figured out. But how do you make those concepts clear in your online dating profile. Therein lies the problem.
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yada, yada, stuff about me, yada… “additionally, I am an avid naturist, as described clearly in http://www.naturistdefined.site and invite anyone to try this non-sexual, body positive & personally empowering experience.” …or your own words to that effect. Of course, you will want to include a real link to a good definition of what naturism is.
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Hmmm… Seems NOBODY can figure out what naturism is, but Addie has found it interesting that her friends are falling in to three groups: 1. Yes – I’m in. Sounds liberating, 2. Huh! So isn’t that interesting, and 3. Weird. That’s neither news nor surprising, I suspect, but in this case, she’s committed enough to naturism that she wants to make sure she finds a companion who’s in for the game. She’s currently deliberating. Is that a chat pre-date question? A first date question? She’s already certain that’s got to be settled by the second date! LOL #naturistlifeproblems
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Actually there are pretty good definitions of naturism. Try ANA or TNS, to start. I think Olive Dell Resort might have one also. I’d say it’s a chat pre-date Q. If it’s a no go for someone, why waste an evening or other date? On the other hand, if you meet someone incidentally, having get acquainted dates is ok, but I still wouldn’t wait more than a couple dates, and certainly before any significant romantic interest develops, to have a conversation. What better way to start a romantic relationship than introducing someone to naturism?
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Hahaha… I’m trying to imagine how that all goes down in a chat conversation. (Mind you, Addie is a smart and witty young woman, and I suspect she’s pretty efficient about sifting through the deadwood!)
“So… I’m delighted you like art and travel, so would you please read this Charter from TNS and tell me if you’re willing to subscribe to their tenants before we take this relationship any farther? You have exactly five minutes to respond!”
I don’t think she’ll be at a loss for words to explain what naturism is, why she likes it, and why it’s worth giving it a try, but to the uninitiated, this could be a pretty big leap!
I say that on the premise that MY wife did the nude beach thing before we met, and even though I was very intrigued, it took me a couple years to summon up the courage to actually DO it. Those were two years wasted! 😦
Addie’s working on another guest post about a recent nakation that will show up on this blog soon. Hard to believe ANY guy would say anything less than – YES! LET’S GO! But, alas, it’s always a bit more complicated than that.
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Confidence is key. Confidence is sexy (ok, in a non sexual context: “attractive”. You can call naturism “non-sexual skinnydipping, with or without the water” if you want, to make it simple. “Anything done naked, other than sex, just for the fun of being naked”. Trying to figure out if someone will like me unless I hide who I am is a recipe for relationship disaster, nudist or not, so why not be direct?
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HAHAHA… Hoping she’ll weigh in on this thread at some point. I feel like her press agent!
I don’t think it’s a matter of being up front. I think it’s a matter of conveying the right message without attracting a bunch of creeps.
I’ve been married for 33 years, so I can’t even imagine what it’s like to search for a soul-mate on Tinder. (And I don’t care to find out) I think the point of her post was that she knows what she wants – she just wants to find a quality human that wants the same things.
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Congrats on your 33 years! I understand; I have plenty of single friends of both genders, but the females do have the headache from dealing with the far too many male creeps. I don’t think quality human and naturist are mutually exclusive, but rare perhaps, compared to the general population. I think she’s got better chances introducing a qualitt guy to nudism than finding one who’s already a nudist. But I think she, you and I know that. Hence emphasizing the Nonsexual aspect of naturism. Of course, the creeps won’t take a hint, so a girl has to be very direct if she’s not looking for sex outside of a committed relationship. I wish her luck whether she includes her inclination in her profile or discloses it later.
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PS: You mentioned you are a Christian. I don’t know her beliefs, but I do believe God answers prayer. Not always as we wish, and marriage doesn’t mean wedded bliss automatically follows, as you are aware. As the saying goes, when God brings someone into your life, that other person isn’t perfect, just the perfect person for the job…the relationship still takes work.
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“Anything done naked, other than sex, just for the fun of being naked”
That describes what I call a “nudie”. I hate labels like naturist or nudist. Someone always tries to come up with a definition for those terms that is narrower than the one you gave.
A naturist somehow has to be communing with nature and nudists are always described as social creatures in groups or formal organizations.
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Maybe it’s because I am older, and have fewer insecurities than I once did, but I also didn’t waste time when dating my now wife. I wasn’t a nudist at the time, but I knew what I wanted and knew she was the one. I also wasn’t going to waste her time if it turned out she wasn’t…that way we could move on quickly without significant emotional and resource investment. I think being direct is by far the best and fairest way to go, and I wish Addie the best!
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She’ll figure it out! She’s not one to settle. 🙂
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